A Jaded Mama

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Disclaimer

With my return to blogland (which, by the way, is a WONDERFUL, informative, and visually pleasing place) I am faced with a challenge that I feel I need to communicate to you all. I'm sure this challenge is not unique to me, but I'm a stronger believer in transparency and candid communication, so I feel I need to put it out there.

I parent from my gut. I make food and nutrition choices based on what feels right and natural. I don't buy into the status quo when it comes to the medical industry, and this is because the status quo doesn't feel right. 

You get what I'm saying? I don't base my choices on scientific literature and studies. As much as my brother would suggest otherwise, I really don't feel that science is the be-all and end-all. Scientists are, after all, only human, and as much as our technology has evolved, it's still severely limited. And it does not take into account the energetic aspect of life, which currently cannot be quantified. I'm not discrediting medical discoveries and their enormous value to society, and believe me, if my kids NEED treatment for an illness, they will get it, but I have issues with the fear and propaganda-spreading that causes parents to question their inate wisdom. And that's putting it mildly.

So that being said, moving forward I may make statements and present ideas, and I may not be able to back up these statements and ideas with scientific literature. This is how I roll. This may or may not sit well with you, but this is my blog and my forum for self-expression (within limits! This is a public profile, after all, and I have the well-being of my family to consider above all else). I'm happy to share in open and useful discourse, but if you don't agree with what I have to say, well, that's your right and I won't fault you for it. In return, however, I will expect the same consideration of my opinion. 

So to sum it all up:

• I believe there is a time and place for medical interference, but I also strongly believe in allowing parents to learn to parent from their gut. I take MAJOR issue with the way that scare tactics are used as tools to force parents to comply with policy that may or may not actually be in the best interests of their children.

• The scientific and medical communities are invaluable in the sense that they do hugely contribute to the greater good, but scientists and doctors, there is more to life than what you can see through your microscopes and tests. 

• Real Food means whole, unprocessed, non-genetically modified, nutritious, life-nourishing, local, full of natural occuring proportions of fat, non-chemical. I do not consider myself hard core about my beliefs. They simply make sense. The Canada Food Guide does not and never has, and is not based on any realistic, proven outcomes.

I do allow my kids the occasional treat. But I will freak out on you if you push certain products on them because I strongly feel that these products are, in fact, anti-life and will suck nutrients from my kids' delicate and beautifully balanced systems. They don't need these "treats" and I thank you for not putting me in an awkward position where I become the bad guy. Please make responsible choices on behalf of my children, for their sakes. 

Now to set my ideas in order...

I'm baaaa-aaaack...\

Yes, it's true. I am back. Back to blogging, that is. I've been thinking about it for a few months and I realize that I miss being able to present my thoughts in an attractive, publicly accessible manner. That being said, this is a further developed version of me, a few months down the road, one that has learned to hold my cards a little closer than previously. But that doesn't mean I still don't have tons of stuff I want to share with you.

The reason I am back to blogging:

1. FOOOOOOOOD! I got off Facebook (mostly, still on it for work) at the beginning of July, and lo and behold I had all this TIME on my hands. And with that time I rediscovered my love for the Real Food Movement and cooking! So I'll be sharing a lot of easy, really nourishing, really rewarding recipes, and show you how I easily incorporate Real Food principles into my family's life. It's really not that hard to eat well. I feel like I have so much information to pass on to you all, information that could REALLY help you learn how to make smart food choices for yourselves and your family (and I'm not talking the standard stuff you think you know).

2. iPhone Photography - I discovered Hipstamatic some months back and I LOVE the results. I've realized I've got an eye for capturing images (and others have confirmed - it's not just me who is all high on myself). My iPhone has the most awesome camera!! Next step is to find me a suitable, low cost DSLR and learn how to really take photos. That step is imminent, so stay tuned. This blog will have lots of visual content.

3. I need a hobby - I do. Though this summer was SO incredible in terms of me finding balance, the scales have tipped again at the office and I am back to having a hard time compartmentalizing. Blogging gives me a project that is not work related, and that's purely for pleasure, and I REALLY need that. So thank you for indulging me.

4. My kids - They are growing up and I want to keep a record going on their amazingness in theirchildhood. I don't slow down nearly enough to appreciate that. But we're heading out of babyhood and all that jazz for ever (never say never, I know, but I'm really saying forever!) and watching these three incredible girls grow up is just the most incredibly rewarding experience.

So that's it. I can't say how frequently I'll be back to blogging. I want this to be an organic sort of development, with no committment or obligation, because that's the kind of stuff that ends in me just not wanting to do something that's supposed to be fun. But I'm here again for a while at least, and I hope you'll have me back!

I suck.

Le sigh. So here we are, winter vacation drawing to a close, and we barely took the kids outside. I suck. I'm a crappola parent.

Why do we live here again? Though we got DUMPED on a little while before Christmas, the temperature went above zero for New Year's, followed by a melt and the gross, slushy, dirty snow that comes with such a shift in temperatures. See above. I don't want to be out in that. I mean, it was glorious for my return to running and all (please please please don't let it snow or get any colder until spring comes to take it all away please please please and never mind the froggies), but it's like the worst weather for playing outdoors with small children.

Insert reminder about $7/day daycare here.

That's why we stay. And the sugar shack, which is, incidentally, only THREE SHORT MONTHS AWAY! I'm already giddy with excitement about that. Hey, a girl's got to have something to look forward to, no?

We took the kids sledding twice (I think, maybe it was once) and we went skating once. Fred played for hours with Azure once when they built a fort just before Christmas, I played outside with the two of them while the younger girls slept in the stroller and I inadvertantly smashed Azure's face into the compacted snow while trying to shove her down into the fort, as part of our game.

So not only did I barely take them outside, I damaged one while trying.

Epic FAIL on my part.

At some point I will be able to kick the lot of them out into the backyard without having to accompany them, right?

There WAS that full day at Santa's Village, which should count for at least four normal days, really. Does it? Oh, look, there's goat butt in that picture of Azure. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for listening...

 

Let it be resolved

I'm not a person to make new year's resolutions normally only because I can't get much more perfect than I already am (HAHAHAHAH) but this year is special. This year is the year that I finally fit comfortably inside of my own skin. I'm turning 35 in March and I think it's time to finally settle into my life.

2010 was a monumental year. A lot of the issues I'd been battling relating to the business finally resolved themselves. Funny how time works like that, huh? I've come to realize, and really TRULY realize, recently, that everything happens only when it's meant too, and not just when I want it to. And this realization has given me the faith to wait things out and to not sweat the small stuff. It's incredibly freeing.

In 2010 I had my final baby. And yes, I mean that. For the first time I feel DONE. Done like dinner. The factory is closed. I have my three perfect babies and Fred's Big V is scheduled for February 6. We are complete. I'm excited about the idea of getting to a point where I don't have to live my life between feedings. This is not to say that I am rushing Ione through her babyhood. The opposite, in fact, is true. I feel that knowing that she's the grande finale allows me to slow down and really appreciate all her stages. Hindsight is 20/20, you know. The frequent nightwakings and the clinginess don't bother me the way they did the first time around because I have two others who have gotten through it all (well, not the clinginess, but at least they can be bribed) and so I know that it won't last forever.

Towards the end of 2010 I had my first experiences with simply Being. I'm a Do'er, not a Be'er, and Do'ers piss their lives away as they are always looking for the next bit of excitement. I've never been able to just Be until very recently. And I plan to use the momentum to figure out how to live in the moment. One of my biggest fears is waking up old and realizing I was barely present for most of the important details of my life.

Here are my goals for 2011:

1. To spend more time Being and less time Doing.

2. To be able to run 5km before the nice weather hits and to run said 5km at least three times a week (not unrealistic - was doing it before I got pregnant with Ione).

3. To finish what I start.

4. To keep my eye on the prize and not allow myself to be easily distracted.

5. To be a more present mother. This means that when I'm spending time with the kids that I am really with them, and not off in my head or focusing on my iPod. I owe them at least that much.

6. To always have raw, cut up veggies available for munching, because if I put them out they get eaten.

I truly feel that all these goals are realistic and well within my reach. And most importantly, they are sustainable. So here we go!

Happy 2011, Everyone! May the year be full of wonderful surprises for each and every one of you!

The New "Did I turn off the stove?" and hairy legs

I went to New York in October and before I left I thought a lot about turning off my network connection on my iPhone so that I didn't end up accidentally connecting to the US network and incurring major roaming charges, or whatever they are called these days. No problem. I did it well before the border and used the free Wifi connections outside of the myriad of Starbucks littering the city and yes, my phonecalls cost a pretty penny but I needed to stay in touch with the beloveds I'd abandonned. But no network charges!

So why do I keep dreaming that I've gone on vacation and forgotten to disconnect the network? It's a recurring nightmare and I get quite panicked realizing I've racked up such a sizeable bill. More importantly, how do I make it stop?

Fred suggests that such concerns are this generation's "Did I remember to turn off the stove??" Except we're still forgetting that too and he's especially bad at it.

Second recurring nightmare that I keep finding myself in concerns leg hair. I hadn't shaved my legs in a couple of months only because I kept thinking I might take it upon myself to book a spa appointment and finally experience waxing. Heck, I've had three kids at home with no drugs, I've had a tattoo, I get my teeth drilled with no anasthetic - what could be so bad about a little leg hair yanking? After all, it's not like I'm going for the Brazillian. Anyways, I'm clearly kidding myself when I think I'm going to remember to book this or line up babysitting for it.

As a result I keep dreaming that I find myself naked in front of some attractive guy only to realize that I have not shaved my legs and they are covered with unattractive, black hair. Lovely.

This morning I shaved. Merry Christmas to me. Here's to hoping the dreams STOP.

Look, I made more cupcakes.

The Exception to the Rule

You know how nature is SUPPOSED to design babies so that they appeal and so that their parents are inspired to care for them? Clearly there are exceptions to the rule. But then again, I'm not a mama cockatiel so who am I to judge?

Contrast and compare:

Taking the leap

Well, it's not such a big one, but it's high time! I've created my own personal Twitter account so I can move a little closer to keeping my own personal thoughts out of AppleCheeks™ bidness. So if you want to be my Tweep, I'd be THRILLED to have you! I'll follow you back, promise :)

A Jaded Mama

Get out of my head, Alicia Keys.

Boy, what I wouldn't pay to return 3 million results when searching for MY name. Look out for my next platinum album, Peeps!

My friends and I have been talking about planning a moms' getaway for years now, and I'm so pleased to report that last week we actually WENT.

Okay, so it wasn't truly a retreat for me as I still had Ms. Ione in tow, but whatever. How bloody easy is it to respond to the needs of only one child? That's practically a vacation in and of itself.

I'm pretty proud of the photos I took with my iPhone 4 using the Hipstamatic app. I think they sum up our three days (total of five but two were for driving there and back) pretty nicely!

Next time, in two years, this trip will be completely CHILD-FREE. I think I just peed myself a little bit I'm so excited.

This is the view from our hotel room when we arrived. I think this one is cool enough to be submitted to the Big Hipstamatic Show, don't you?

This is the view from our hotel room in the morning.

I love the rooftop gardens. How incredulous would these people be if they could see MY garden, actually planted in the GROUND.
I think this was taken before they had their first cup of coffee.


Around the corner from the hotel was this neat geode store and I took a whole bunch of photos of different rocks that I'm thinking of printing and having framed for Jennie's new house. Don't tell her. Oh, wait, I already told her. Never mind.

At least it wasn't closed down because of bed bugs.

Like, who climbed up the post to tie that poor little bear up there?

These are chocolate canolis. My stomach is heaving at the thought of them. This is WAY too much decadence in one dessert.

 
On my way to Grand Central for my meeting with Danielle Elwood.

 
Midtown Manhattan. I bet they printed on the side of the building for photo opps for green tourists like me. Don't worry, I wasn't fooled.

 

Is it like coffee?

I'm still giggling over a question that Amy asked me on Thursday.

I've been writing a post in my head since Ione was eight weeks old and took the pacifier for the first time and I'm finally getting it down for all of you. Amy's hilarious question could not have been more timely.

So I've managed to give birth to another child that seems to require constant stimulation from a third party. No matter how many toys that baby has, she's never content for more than, oh, say, 5.76 seconds. It makes it rather challenging to get much work done if she's not sleeping.

This past Thursday, as my to-do list was 10 items long and I was desperate to finish item 10 before heading out to pick up the older girls, I asked Amy, who is almost 37 weeks pregnant now and quite comfortable to just sit on the sofa in our office, to hold the baby. She did what she could to keep Ione amused and stuck the pacifier back in her mouth quite a few times before she turned to me and asked, "Are pacifiers like coffee in that after a while you're not so sensitive to the effects of the caffeine?"

Clearly Amy doesn't spend as much time around coffee drinkers as I do, being a sworn Mormon and all.

Anyways, the answer is a resounding no, of course. The effects do not wear off. This child loves the pacifier and I am proclaiming for all the world to hear that I AM SO GRATEFUL.  

Do you ever play that game in which you ask yourself what you'd tell a younger version of yourself if you could go back X number of years? I do. I play it ALL the time now. If I could go back 6.5 years I'd take myself by the shoulders, give myself a HARD shake, and say give the child a bloody pacifier. It will not make you less of a mother. It will not damage your child for all eternity if she is not permitted to be attached to your body 24/7. In fact, it might even improve things on the relationship front if you allow her to be soothed by something other than your own breast.

Well, live and learn, I guess. Hopefully this whole relaxing of my principles won't result in thousands of dollars of orthodontic work in a few years...