I'm not a person to make new year's resolutions normally only because I can't get much more perfect than I already am (HAHAHAHAH) but this year is special. This year is the year that I finally fit comfortably inside of my own skin. I'm turning 35 in March and I think it's time to finally settle into my life.
2010 was a monumental year. A lot of the issues I'd been battling relating to the business finally resolved themselves. Funny how time works like that, huh? I've come to realize, and really TRULY realize, recently, that everything happens only when it's meant too, and not just when I want it to. And this realization has given me the faith to wait things out and to not sweat the small stuff. It's incredibly freeing.
In 2010 I had my final baby. And yes, I mean that. For the first time I feel DONE. Done like dinner. The factory is closed. I have my three perfect babies and Fred's Big V is scheduled for February 6. We are complete. I'm excited about the idea of getting to a point where I don't have to live my life between feedings. This is not to say that I am rushing Ione through her babyhood. The opposite, in fact, is true. I feel that knowing that she's the grande finale allows me to slow down and really appreciate all her stages. Hindsight is 20/20, you know. The frequent nightwakings and the clinginess don't bother me the way they did the first time around because I have two others who have gotten through it all (well, not the clinginess, but at least they can be bribed) and so I know that it won't last forever.
Towards the end of 2010 I had my first experiences with simply Being. I'm a Do'er, not a Be'er, and Do'ers piss their lives away as they are always looking for the next bit of excitement. I've never been able to just Be until very recently. And I plan to use the momentum to figure out how to live in the moment. One of my biggest fears is waking up old and realizing I was barely present for most of the important details of my life.
Here are my goals for 2011:
1. To spend more time Being and less time Doing.
2. To be able to run 5km before the nice weather hits and to run said 5km at least three times a week (not unrealistic - was doing it before I got pregnant with Ione).
3. To finish what I start.
4. To keep my eye on the prize and not allow myself to be easily distracted.
5. To be a more present mother. This means that when I'm spending time with the kids that I am really with them, and not off in my head or focusing on my iPod. I owe them at least that much.
6. To always have raw, cut up veggies available for munching, because if I put them out they get eaten.
I truly feel that all these goals are realistic and well within my reach. And most importantly, they are sustainable. So here we go!
Happy 2011, Everyone! May the year be full of wonderful surprises for each and every one of you!